Episode three of Maude's adventures is posted now.
Please leave a comment if you wish to encourage me to write more.
Dr. P-J
​LINK

I have started a new story about the adventures of Maude.
​So far, there are two episodes.
Please leave a comment if you wish to encourage me to write more.
Dr. P-J
​LINK

I find it bizarre to wake up in a world of rising fascism. How can this be, that a man who is a traitor, who mishandled the COVID pandemic so poorly over a million Americans died, who, while President of the United States, demonstrably lied to the American people thousands of times – several times daily - is reported winning in the polls and is depicted as being our next and final president.

Here is a man who shows off depravity, hatred, and venality every time he opens his mouth, who is cartoonishly sprayed with orange paint, dyes his hair a ridiculous yellow which he styles in a massive and obvious combover to cover his bald pate, and who promises that he will not be a dictator “except for the first day” and is yet celebrated like royalty by a large segment of my fellow citizens.

This is my country? No loyalty to our veterans? No respect for the hard-fought rights of women? No regard for voting rights? No concern for the biosphere destruction that has fueled climate chaos? Just an idiot wind of racism, homophobia, misogyny, climate change denial, voter’s rights suppression, gun violence, and lack of responsibility to our international partners and our agreements? This is it?

Wow, America, you suck . . . unless there is an underreported radicalization of women going on . . . registering voters, getting out the vote, helping women get abortions while they are become more difficult to obtain legally . . . unless we are ANTIFA . . .
​
I hope so.

​There are no easy answers to the dilemma of having a hidden or other disability, especially while also being socially awkward, when a new acquaintance starts out encouragingly but then abandons the budding friendship.

You may have clues as to what might be turning a stranger off as they get to know you, but it is best not to make assumptions about other people's motivations.

I would do a couple of things. First, I would think about how I can get out in front of the issue - so potential friends don't build a false idea of who I am. If they are biased against ADA issues - good riddance, but it could be more of disappointed expectations, right? So I'd work out a wording that I would practice and then say with a confident smile about the disability that people who want to be my friend must accept about me. 

In my case, I have trouble remembering people's names. When I was a public school teacher I made the students keep name tags visible on their desks the entire school year and I would still mix up two children . . . it was like I had a file drawer in my brain that I would open to get a name, but for those two children, they would both be in the same drawer and either name might pop out. I would tell my students about this issue on the first day of school, and advise them that if I messed up their name, to correct me at once, loudly if necessary.

​I would talk about how important people's names are to them . . . using my first name as an example. I would write my name on the board and then point out the second "e" and talk about how it actually makes me angry when people spell my name without that second "e." I would tell it in a funny way - mocking myself. Students (and everybody) want their name pronounced correctly . . . a long story for a short idea - get ahead of the issue, and use it to showcase your ease and comfort with something they might find uncomfortable.

My name thing -- it ain't getting any better . . . so when I meet someone and learn their name, I usually say something like this, "Nice to meet you, George. I have trouble remembering people's names, so if I forget your name, I'll just call you 'Gloria.'" This ALWAYS gets a laugh, perhaps because of the twinkle in my eye when I deliver the line. People seem to like the name Gloria; I use the name for both men and women. This strategy is an effective ice breaker and allows me to relax about a true fact about me - I cannot remember people's names. If I can get the first letter I'm happy about it.

So be transparent - but in an amusing way that de-escalates tensions people might have about any or a particular disability. 

The other thing is about what to do about the people who are ghosting you. Smile, greet them, and move on. They're not the drones you're looking for.
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If they do return to you - I would just ask them what happened and be grateful to understand better what I'm signalling that makes someone uncomfortable. Could be their prejudice, could be I'm just "too much," could be a misunderstanding, could be their childhood trauma. Could be about you, could have NOTHING to do with you.

I guess a final thing is that to have a friend you have to be a friend. Be a good listener, don't expect anything - I find those approaches keep me less vulnerable to disappointment . . . eventually, everyone disappoints me . . . but I get to decide if it's a deal breaker. And if I'm too much for others . . . that's okay. I get to be me.

I hope this helps.
Dr. P-J

Someone on Facebook was talking smack about the utility of hiding under your desk at school . . . 

​During an earthquake - hiding from broken glass shards flying out from buckling windows is real. Your desk is your best defense - a weak one perhaps, but better than nothing.

When I was teaching school in a shi**y trailer that was good enough for poor people, the ceiling tiles kept falling out and the rods that held them in place would swing down.

I complained for months and the sh** manager of that department told me new BS every time. Someone would come in and pretend to fix it but it kept happening.

Eventually, one of the rods swung down and hit a kid in the eye.

We got him up to the office and the district paid on the spot for the ER treatment (no permanent damage) but the discussion in the classroom after was excellent.

One of these fifth graders said that he had seen the ceiling tile start to buckle and felt bad that he didn't yell out . . . So we set up the word "Alert" and practiced - with that eagle eyed kid, or me, calling out "ALERT" and the kids would all get under their desks.

We practiced with a timer to see how fast we could get.

The principal came down while we were working on the project and was appalled regarding this use of instructional time and I told her off right there in front of the class.

Hiding under your desk won't save you from a nuke or a bullet, but it has its uses.

I received some requests for my Navy Bean Soup recipe so here it is:

Here is a LINK which can also be found in the "Recipe" pull-down at the top of the page.

Please leave a comment if you would like to see more recipes here.

Reconciling yourself to being alone is a good thing. Your service work is an excellent way to develop your humanity. If you have great humanity - if you let the light shine through you - you will touch and improve the lives of the various people you meet. Your open eyes will connect with the souls of others who meet you at an equal level.

And who knows, you may find that someone is drawn to you who will be a good companion, or even a good partner, or perhaps . . . a soul mate.

We have many soul mates . . . entwined from the beginning, when all the matter (particles) of the universe were packed into a space the size of the period at the end of this sentence. We are all connected, but some much more than others . . .

Many terms might be used to characterize yourself: independent, self-sufficient, logical, logistical, practical, easy-going, productive, useful, careful, cautious, brave, bold, wise, educated, knowledgeable, patient, and thoughtful are possibilities. Create a narrative about yourself FOR yourself to improve your connections with the rest of humanity along lines that will be beneficial to you.

Let the light shine through you. The life force enters your body as you breath in (the breath of life . . . ) and travels to every living cell in your body. It must be replenished with every intake - breath - as it exits the body in various ways, notable through your finger tips - hands and feet . . . and radiates from your eyes.

Dr. P-J
​12/20/23

I have written a poem . . .

Please leave a comment if you like it.

Here is a LINK which can also be found in the "Poetry" pull-down at the top of the page.

I have written something new! This short piece is about the excruciating joy of Christmas past, present, and future.

Please leave a comment if you like it.

Here is a LINK which can also be found in "Memoirs" under the non-fiction pull-down at the top of the page.

I have written something new! Please leave a comment if you like it.

Here is a LINK to this addition to "Swimming Through My Life", which can be found in "Memoirs" under the non-fiction pull-down at the top of the page.